Two little boys were best friends at church, but they both had a reputation for getting into trouble. One Sunday, one of the boys was home sick, but the other boy, not wanting to let his friend down, was twice as bad as normal.
As he was running through the sanctuary after church, the pastor grabbed him and angrily said, "Where's God?!"
The little boy was frightened and didn't know what to say.
The pastor continued, "I want you to go home and think about it and I don't want you to come back until you can tell me where God is."
The boy went home and called his sick friend on the telephone. "Guess what," he said. "They've lost God, and they're trying to blame that one on us, too."
How to Get Into Heaven
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
I PRAY FOR...
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW PLAYSTATION. I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"
Lesson in Lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."